The Gunn Show - Radio Broadcast - Episode 1

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RobinVanDutch
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The Gunn Show - Radio Broadcast - Episode 1

Post: # 11215Post RobinVanDutch »

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((*bleep* soundeffect))

A disclaimer can be heard prior to the show beginning:
“The following program presents opinions that are not necessarily those of Dam Good Radio or its’ owners.”

An upbeat rock theme would begin to play as a man's voice booms through the radio. "Whaddup Toro? I'm Thad Gunn and me and my brothas would like to welcome you to the GUNN SHOW. Where we always have a two drink minimum." The sound of several beer cans opening can be heard in the background. "For our first segment today I'm joined by Tommy, BB, and the man of the hour: Coach. Why don't you tell us a little about yourself coach?"

Mike clears his throat with a small cough, an ever so slight hint of nervousness in his tone of voice. "Yep, hi I'm Mike 'Coach' Emmett, a man who's way too old to be hanging out with these bros, but alcohol is the great equalizer!" The sound of drinking can be heard.

BB clears his throat and mutters loud enough to be picked up by his mic. "Bet you feel young enough to steal someone's dibs." A loud slurping can be heard, and BB goes back to his normal speaking voice. "So Coach, what's it like being the Coach? Do you have any regrets? Any fears? Will you respect the Bro Code to a T now that you are in fact Coach?"

A loud energetic voice suddenly pops through. "I quickly want to test out something out bro's before we go through." Tommy clears his throat. “*bleep* *bleep* *bleep*. Woah, that's quite impressive, this automatic filter is tight *bleep* for sure! *bleep*!" Tommy gulps down his beer.

Letting Tommy finish, Mike would respond to BB with a chuckle. "Well, little kid-bro, being coach is pretty damn fun. I haven't been hanging out at bars causing a ruckus since back when I was like 25! The only real regret so far is getting knocked out by your brick *bleep*house of a brother" The sound of skin smacking skin in a glorious high five can be heard in the background.
"Regarding the bro code and stealing your dibs - not my fault you can't satisfy a girl"

Thad would lean over and hit a button on the counter, and the soundboard would play the sound of a pump action shotgun being cocked back "Oh no brolos. It's the SHOT GUNN ALARM. So shotgun your beers and let's move on to our topic of the day"

A handful of different slurping sounds can be heard, followed by the sound of cans being crushed and thrown.

BB’s voice, angry as can be, explodes out of the radio. "YOU *bleep*! I JUST *bleep*ED THIS JACKET!"

"Alright brahs either *bleep* already or let's move on. I'm sure you've all seen that Heather Holiday sloot on the TV talking about this TBIS and coming out of the shadows. What do you guys think of that? Personally I'd like to spend a few minutes in the shadows with her if you know what I mean."

"TBIS, as in Toro.. Booby... Inspection, Ser-Service!" Tommy’s voice blurts out as he belts out an annoying chuckle A wet, and squishy highfive shared by Tommy and BB can be heard in the backgroung.

"I don't like her, she's more bro than sloot, she doesn't tickle my *bleep* if you know what I mean." BB coughs into the microphone.

"Well of course you don't like her BB, she's a girl . We all know that's not your type, but can we talk about that boyfriend of hers for a second? I mean her dad was a cowboy and now she dates a cowboy? Talk about daddy issues."

"Hey, nothing wrong with havin' kinks, we all know you like when sloots take the initiative and stick something up your *bleep*, Thad."

"What do you think about this stuff bro beans?"

BB would snicker into the microphone.

"Well, i dunno if you bros know about this, but i've actually got degrees in psychology and therapy- Lemme tell you, this is a classic case of daddy issues. I'm almost tempted to get them into my office for a quick session- and probably a private one with the sloot -UP TOP" He'd try to give a high five to whoever is closest to him.

"*bleep* that was good." Yet another high five can be heard.

"Oh, what are we talkin about? I didn't read up on whatever we were suppose to read."
Some screaming “I hate you, bleepguy!” and calls of security can be heard in the background.

Thad would push another button, playing a sound. "Well for all of you ignants like BB here, we're talkin' about Toro's new spy agency. But if you ask me we don't need one of those, unless we get James Bond in it we might as well not try"

"I'm not 'ignant' aight, I'm just not a nerd that reads everything that's given to him. And spies are cool, the sloots wear skin tight suits and have great *bleep*s. As long as they're spies like that then I don't have a problem.... unless they try to kill me, then we got a big problem."

"In all seriousness, I can't see it ending well. Imagine some james bond spy in a bar when we're all drinking, one of us gets a little rowdy for fun, then suddenly we're all arrested for accidentally annoying a spy. Or something. Gotta just stay with normal police so we know when to shut up and act good!"

"That's kinda like that guy that make those guys with armbands. What was his name? Whatever, we should kill that guy."

"Nah coach you got it all wrong, if it’s a spy we just challenge him to a bro down, and if it's a spyette we charm our way out."

"Coach is a one sloot kinda guy, he can't charm anyone except pink hair."

"In fact you know what Thad? Maybe we do
need spies to stop certain sword-wielding sociopathic maniacs in bars!"


The meaty thud of punches can be heard being dished out in the background, followed by a vague screaming and some inexplicable gargling.

"I agree, only sword that belongs in a bar is a meat sword"

"That's kinda rude, that beertender got us drinks for free. And we don't need spies to take one wimp with a sword, we got the power of Bros."

Mike bursts into laughter. "Pffahahah, says the kid who did nothing when the chick looked in trouble. No wonder you lost your dibs."

"Damn bro, Coach just tore you a new one."

"HEY, I had no idea what was happening, I was too everything to notice anything."

"Come on bro, you're just lucky I knocked my food to the ground when I went to the rescue so you didn't get your arse kicked in the eating contest"

"IF YOU WANT TO BRO DOWN WE CAN END THIS PUSSYFOOTING AROUND AND GO RIGHT NOW, COACH!"

Tommy, now back in the conversation, can be heard chanting. "Brodown, Brodown, Brodown!"

A squeaking can be heard as Mike leans back in his seat, his smile so smug you can almost hear it over the radio. "I said before, I don't play your kid's games BB."

A crashing sound can be heard. "BROOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWN!"

Thad would push a button and an artificial crowd would begin cheering. Next he would lean into the microphone and begin speaking. "The one and only coach ladies and gentlemen. Now onto my bro Drake with the weather, right after these short messages from our sponsors"


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A short jingle would play before the voice of an Adman comes on the Radio. “Come on down to the Cobalt Pawnshop located on 4 Kingdra Pass. They Engrave *bleep*”


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The sound of a whipping wind comes through faintly as the weather segment begins.
“This is Drake Gunn reporting the weather on some cold Island thing. I brought sloots with me thinking it was an island island, and the sloots still have on bikinis. This whole island's like covered in snow and ice man, it’s still snowing."

The microphone would pick up Drake mumbling to himself. "Don't even know why the brolols sent me here...could of been talking *bleep* instead..."

"For the actual weather, it’s colder than Regice's *bleep*hole and snowing more than it does at Thad's parties. All the beer I brought froze, the sloots are in bikini's and freezing, poor sloots can't even cheer they're so cold. I don’t even have enough hands to warm their jiggly bits. It’s cold and whatever, this is Dj Jazzy D-bone aka Drake the Snake aka the best thing to happen to your mother signing off so I can get the eff out of here. Next time can I go somewhere warmer. Now here is prank calls with Thad."


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Thad’s voice would come back on the radio “Crazy enough to actually listen to this trash? You need to come see me immediately! Go to Coach Mike's crazy people clinic. Now that I’m done selling out like a *bleep*, onto my favorite segment of this show: Prank phone calls.”
The sound of a phone being dialled is heard, along with barely-suppressed giggling from everyone in the studio.


The phone rings for a few moments before a cheery sounding young man answers. "Rahim's Free Hugs and Listening! How can I help ya?"


The sound of snickering fades as a male voice comes crackling to life through the phone. "Hello sir, my name is Ben Dover with the international vacations and sweepstakes committee and I'd like to let you know you've been randomly selected to win one of our grand prize sweepstakes. Is now a good time to discuss it?"

There is a short pause before the man behind the phone line responds. "Hello Mr. Ben Dover. Rahim isn't here, but this is his assistant, Seymour Butz. I've got plenty of time to talk about the sweepstakes, sweetcakes."


"Well sir, we'd really prefer to talk to your boss but I guess you've won the prize instead. It's your lucky day." The laughter in the background continues. "You've won the prize of 50 *bleep*s in your mouth sir. You have the option of sucking all 50 at once or sucking 1 a day for 50 days. What would you like?" After the question is posed, the sounds of high fiving can be heard alongside more cans being opened.

As the man on the other end begins speaking, Thad would hang up abruptly, cutting him off.

The studio erupts into roaring laughter for a few seconds before Thad continues. “Remember to get all your hugs from sloots at Rahim’s free hug shop, they were really good sports about this and they got some top notch huggers. Now here’s BB teaching you how to pick up a sloot.”


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The sound of someone bumping into a microphone can be heard, along with some inaudible muttering. A few seconds later, the sound of a saxophone wailing seductively emanates from the radio speakers before slowly fading into the sound of BB’s unusually soft voice.

“Hello and welcome to,” he pauses suddenly, interrupted by the sound of three loud gunshots as the sax music is replaced with a hard rock riff. The song soon fades back into the jazz, albeit quieter this time. “Scorin’ with BB. Today I’m gonna learn you how to…”

He pauses, and the sound of paper being shuffled can be heard. “Who the hell wrote these, a five year old? I can’t read this torchic scratch.” Another voice can just barely be heard replying. “You wrote it.”

BB goes silent, only muttering out a response after an awkward moment. “I know I did…” His voice becomes louder once again. “Okay, today, Papa BB’s gonna teach you how to talk to girls. The first thing you need to do, is get high as hell, I suggest you try some of that stuff Tommy gives us every Sunday, that *bleep* is the bomb.”

Stomping can be heard in the background as Tommy re-enters the recording studio. “Yea man I got everything you ne-” He stops as BB interrupts him. “Bro, this is my show not yours, you had your time, don’t interrupt.”

Unphazed, Tommy continues. “Come down to the Gunn house and you can get high and *bleep*ed for free if you’re a sloot, by the Top Gunn.”

“I’m the top Gunn ladies and gentlemen, because Tommy here prefers to be the bottom when he’s with a *bleep*.”

Tommy smacks his lips loudly. “BB here doesn’t know what he’s talking about, I’m always the top with slo-”

A low thumping can be heard. “DON’T HIT ME BRO!” Indistinct shouting and shuffling can be heard, capped off by a meaty thud before the audio cuts to a momentary burst of static.

A female voice chimes in: “Dam Good Radio is experiencing technical difficulties. Please wait while we remedy the situation.”

Calming classical music begins playing, lasting for about a minute before the show returns.

Sniveling can be heard, as an angry voice booms over the speakers. “SAY IT!” “I’m sorry-” he sniffles, “I’m sorry for ruining BB’s shooooow.” A moment passes, the microphone is audibly moved around. “Sorry Bros and Sl-,” More shuffling as the mic changes hands again, this time forcibly. “TOMMY HAS A BIG *bleep* AND SLOOTS LOVE HI-” His voice is cut out and replaced with shrieks of pain, after about half a minute of shrieks BB can be heard throwing Tommy out of the sound room. He suddenly returns to the mic huffing and puffing out of breath. “I’m -huff- I’m sorry about that Bros and sloots everywhere, we had a minor issue -huff- with who is and who isn’t the top gun -huff- which is obviously me -huff-.” The sound of his jacket ruffling can be heard then after a flask’s lid is heard opening. He takes a few sips of whatever’s inside and pulls it away with loud gasp for air.
“Okay, Bro’s and sloots…. What were we talking about?” He pauses pulling out and uncrumpling his notecards, “Oh right, how to talk to sloots.”
He repositions himself in the chair, “Okay, Bro’s, do you want to impress that sloot that you’ve been stalking but can’t find the courage to talk to her, well here's what you do,”
He clears his throat “First off you get high, come to the gunn house and ask for Tommy...” He pauses for a second as the sound of knocking can be heard from the door followed by a muffled scream.
BB continues “Next, you need to think about what you should say, like maybe ask the sloot did she get a haircut, does she remember you from wherever you met, did she get your love letters or whatever you nerds do, or the classic ‘Did she get fatter, because that *bleep* sure did,’ you know the usual.”
He pauses taking another sip from the flask, “Next you do what comes naturally, you talk to the sloot.”
He chugs the flask then speaks into the microphone “This has been… whatever this segment is called.” He chugs the rest of whatever is left of the flask and puts his feet up on the table making two loud thumps while classical music gets louder plays letting the show out.


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A couple gunshot sounds can be heard with an overly happy woman’s voice saying “Cooooking with Tooommy! Where boil meets grill!”

Soundbite of morning alarm goes off “Wake the *bleep* up, rise and shine sloots and gentlemen, I… Tommy, The Culinary Gangster, also known as the CHIEF.. OPERATING.. OFFICER of the kitchen. The guy, who puts the C, O, O, in KING, is about to change YOUR COOKING-game with this breakfast burger!”

“Like my bro’s here at the Carmine Radio Station we like our dough. So make sure you got the right kind of dough to work with, and make sure to put a lot of alcohol in your batter, because alcohol is ALWAYS the key ingredient.” Soundbite of money “Make sure to take some shots before you start rolling your dough because nobody likes cooking sober.” Rolling sounds can be heard “I already had mine, straightened out on my night drawer.” Small pause “Oh who am I kidding, I don’t own a drawer, SLOOTS HOLD THESE SHOTS FOR ME WHEN I WAKE UP, like an absolute boss!” cheering of his bro’s can be heard in the background “Now take as much meat as you can find and you toss it in the fryer. And don’t you dare forget to put all your booze with the oil.” Licking of fingers “Mucho importante… I wish you listeners at home could smell and see this, it looks incredible” sounds rather proud and disappointed. Tommy turns away from the microphone but can still be heard “Why are we doing this show on the radio again.” Thad can be heard in the background “Because it all looks like *bleep* Tommy! and it’s *bleep*ing disgusting! You moron!” Tommy can be heard snickering through the microphone “And then- huuuue, you put everyt-“ sniff “-everything togetheeeer.” a sudden silence can be heard as if something is about to go down
Thad in the background: “Don’t you DARE! toss that monstrosity at me.”
Tommy: “YOU CAN’T TALK TO ME LIKE THAT! IN MY SHOW! I’M THE GOD DAMN C-O-O OF THE COOKING GAME *bleep*!” a loud noise of falling spatulas and other tools can be heard while a thumping falling noise of the splattered burger can be heard
Thad screeches: “GEEEET OUUUUT OF MYYYY SHOOOOOOOOW!”
Thad can be heard strangling Tommy who sounds to be gasping for air.

A pre recording of the 4 boys and coach signing off and saying goodbye would begin abruptly.


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======== OOC Line =========

Legend:


If you'd like to send a letter to the Gunnz to respond to their show, you can do so! We will read and discuss them in one of the upcoming shows.

-Format-

IC Name:
Subject:
Letter:
Last edited by RobinVanDutch on Tue Apr 05, 2016 11:55 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Rosy
Posts: 1120
Joined: Mon Aug 26, 2013 11:33 am
MC name: Rosy

Re: The Gunn Show - Radio Broadcast - Episode 1

Post: # 11216Post Rosy »

IC Name: Johnny Nikitas
Subject: Corrections
Letter: Howdy! I'm here to correct you about your T.B.I.S segment! First off, my wife, Heather Nikitas is not a hussie, she is going to be the mother of my children so please apologize, thank you! Two, T.B.I.S stands for Toro Bureau of Intelligence Services. Okay, thank you. * Then there is a smiley face *


ANNND ANOTHER ONE:
IC Name: Maggie LeGrand
Subject: Too many bleeps![VERY IMPORTANT!!!!!!!!!!!]
Letter: You boys swear absolutely way too much! It's not very appropriate, what if your mothers were listening?
Macecurb
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Re: The Gunn Show - Radio Broadcast - Episode 1

Post: # 11227Post Macecurb »

Stanley, being the owner of the radio station, would intercept Maggie's letter, and reply to it.

"Maggie,

Thank you for your kind letter to the boys doing the Gunn show out of the DGR station in Carmine. I'd have them bleeped more often, but one of them is a lawyer and he walked me through why I legally can't do that.

So sorry about that. I highly recommend you not listen to the show.

Regards,
Stanley."
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RobinVanDutch
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Re: The Gunn Show - Radio Broadcast - Episode 1

Post: # 11238Post RobinVanDutch »

IC Name: Anonymous
Subject: Tommy is awesome!
Letter:

Dear show,

Tommy is the best Gunn, he is absolutely hilarious. You could say he is the TOP GUNN. Woah, that cookingshow was incredible, I learned so much! Wow, what an inspiration. Tommy is so good. Wow.
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Misha
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Re: The Gunn Show - Radio Broadcast - Episode 1

Post: # 11239Post Misha »

IC Name: Rosalynn Hayes
Subject: Suggestion!
Letter: You guys should have a segment on fighting! I wouldn't mind if it's just you guys beating each other up or actually talking about fighting. Also if you do take my suggestion and go the 'beating each other up' route you should invite me, I'd love to see that in person.
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Portalgunblaze
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Re: The Gunn Show - Radio Broadcast - Episode 1

Post: # 11243Post Portalgunblaze »

IC Name: Jamie Brown
Subject: A suggestion.
Letter:
First off all, this show is pretty good, but it could use a little more violence. I suggest you hold a fighting segment where the guns try to find out who can kick the most butt, I'll gladly join you guys and kick yours if I'm allowed. Also, you guys should do more prank calls, but call someone who will have a good reaction next time, not a kid known for hugs.
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stowaway8888
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Re: The Gunn Show - Radio Broadcast - Episode 1

Post: # 11250Post stowaway8888 »

IC Name: Lucas Conway
Subject: Respect please!
Letter: I'd like to politely ask that you don't call people 'sloots', or any other disrespectful name. It's completely rude, and demeaning!
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